What? No! Who told you that she makes me sleep on her lap nude and fetch her slippers with my mouth…that’s absurd. She lets me wear my thong and I fetch the paper.
Big news at the Legacy Control Compound! The cable guy is here and he is fixing my internets! So now, I won’t be too depressed to carry on while trying to play…well…anything online! Turns out something happened to our wires outside (squirrel, wind or something) and we have been getting a weak ass signal for months now. I knew I wasn’t crazy…I knew it [nude in the corner talking to myself.]