Now I’m not saying that I don’t like sports. Quite the contrary, as I can can find enjoyment in almost any form of competition. That is to say, I’m a competitive person. Competition fuels me. I have never had the ability or desire to memorize every stat, player and rule to the worlds most popular games. This has ALWAYS made me feel like an oddball. Made me feel like a I didn’t fit in with most other guys.
It’s not that I’m not athletic either. I find I’m capable of doing well at most physical activity I attempt. I was forced to play little league for 8 years, made it on to the all-star team a few times but it never really spoke to me.
I do follow one sport feverishly and that sport is MMA. I’m a huge fan and I spend much time researching fighters stats and history. As some of you may or may not know I have competed in a couple of amateur cage fights. I still do burn to compete in MMA but after my last devisating loss (broken nose and rib) I swore I would never get back in the cage without being totally prepared. I am getting to an age where that seems less and less like a possibility. I will always train though.
Sports and sports talk is such an integral piece of American culture, that those of us who don’t’ really follow main stream sports are made to feel like outcasts at times. I generally want to talk about video games, Magic the Gathering or boobs (boobs are universal, I know). Anyway, I hope my coming out about my inability to “Sports Talk” gives hope the rest of you out there, who are woefully unable to do the same, that there are a lot of us out there;)
Javis
What are these sports you speak of? And on what video-game system are they played?
It’s basically how the States are run.
How to escape a “sports hive”.
1: Tell one person that another person says their team sucks.
2: Spread this rumor as much as you can. (Use fake names and identities for safety)
3: Leave as soon as you hear the sound of beer mugs clanking and low angry mumbles.
4: While others are cracking in skulls and removing limbs, you will be safe outside, munching on stolen pretzels and beer.
[Scribbles steps in note book, nods knowingly]
How to start a bar fight anywhere in the U.S. (since it seems these fans are all over the place. *shudders*)
1. Locate nearest exit.
2. Scream “Yankees Suck!” (which they do)
3. Run like hell while those that agree fight with those that disagree.
We are sportball. We will assimilate you. Resistance is futile.
Borg-ball.
Hey, sports guys are nerds too! They’re just a different kind of nerd.
Everyone is a nerd of some kind. Some are socially accepted.
One of my favorite things to do as a kid was watch Foodball with my father and his buddys. Whenever a team scored I would scream “Yay! Another HOME RUN!!” 😉
“And that’s when the beatings began.”
Yes. How about that local sports team! I sure hope they score another goal unit before the last time increment. It would be a shame if they were defeated again by those devils from foreign lands!
[watching checkers match]
The only sports I recognize are The Most Dangerous Game, Game of Thrones, and Calvinball.
Calvinball [wistfully looks out window]
I too suffer from this nightmare….I used to follow baseball and basketball when I was a young’un, but lost interest as I grew older. The only “sport” i’ve never lost interest in is wrestling, and you never see a group of guys standing around discussing the latest cage match (unless it’s MMA). I always wonder how sports guys keep all those stats in their heads, until I remember how much useless trivia about wrestling and video games I know.
I actually used to collect baseball/basketball cads and all. More obsessed about getting specific cards an not the players. But that is about the extent of it for me.