Only one way outta this one, boys…fake a life threatening injury.
Be honest just not cripplingly so. Enough do want the truth. (The real test is playing happy for visiting in-laws.) You could pull something like “You make everything look better.” But alas that could backfire too. Back to just being honest. Easier to remember the truth for later.
The correct answer is always “It’s not the best cut, but damn, you still make it look good.” Simultaneously agreeing while praising works wonders.
But if the word “fat” is even mentioned at all, it’s best to just commit seppuku immediately. You’re already dead man walking.
I tell her she looks “Phat”…
Escape by stabbing yourself in the leg with a fork. It won’t cause much damage (still hurts though), look worse than it is and should work.
Seriously, that lady DOES make it work! Try Goatguts next time!
The innards of a Goat.
Best bet is experiencing a faux mal, fall to the ground and twitch. Or you could put on your Elvis suit and try to woo back her affections.
no matter what you wear, you’ll always be beautiful~
until you strap on a “strap on” then Im just scared of you~
The outfit makes her look like a strawberry~
Or…how about I cut a huge fart?
you better hope it smells like death like her Taco~
cause if it don’t clear the room~
that question will come back up again~
who needs clothes you are beautiful naked take that off
You know what, I say that every day (to the mirror.)
i think the answer is “why do you keep covering up that body! you hate me don’t you? you just keep trying to make me cry!” then cry, still no sex but you get the bed.
you might even keep the house.
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