Nothin’ Special
I'm done with video game collector's editions
on February 8, 2016 at 8:00 amThe video game industry has ruined it. It’s all over. Pack it up. Move along. Leave everything non-essential behind and don’t look back. If I have to look at another ridiculously over-the-top, overblown, over-priced, self-congratulating, piece-of-shit “Collector’s Edition” of a game that don’t deserve it, I swear that I’m going to burn this mutha to the ground.
BURN THE INDUSTRY TO THE GROUND!
This age of decadence is reminiscent of the roaring 20’s. I saw a flapper the other day, wearing long strands of pearls, doing the Charleston into their local game store and buying Pip-Boy editions of “Fallout 4”. I saw it!

This used to be a nice neighborhood…
We know why they’re doing it: it’s easy cash. They can pump these cheap trinkets out as fast and easy as the neighbor’s bull mastiff, King Rex, cuts turds on your rose bushes. It’s nothing but pure profit for them. It’s better and more profitable than DLC.
And you want to know the dirty little secret that makes it so every single game gets one of these turds? Gamers – that’s us – are eating this shit up.
We’re scooping up King Rex’s soft serve, putting it into a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer, whipping up a batch of brownies, and shoveling the entire piping-hot pan into our gullets before the kids get home from school. There’s no evidence left behind except for a lingering smell of poo. And, well, all of the statues. There are a lot of statues.
How has this become accepted and celebrated? Do we think this is a service? Are we being done a favor?
“Tell you what; I COULD sell you just the game. I could even throw that game in a steelbook, if you bought it the day of release. But, I think you’re going to like this more. See, I’ve got a version of this game that comes in a gigantic box. And we’ve filled it with all sorts of cra… cool stuff. We’ve got a statue of an iconic enemy from the game. We’ve also got a keychain you’ll never use, a CD you’ll never listen do, an art book you’ll thumb through once and never touch again, an art cell you can do nothing with, a 256 mb USB drive that has 4 exclusive remixed tracks that we didn’t bother to put on the CD, a mini-guide that will get you through the first hour of the game, a sticker celebrating the 2006 World Series Championship of the St. Louis Cardinals, and… but this is only if you buy this in the next 15 minutes… we’ll throw in a set of Cut ‘n’ Swish Knives.
This WHOLE package can be yours for only $250. Whaddya say?”
SOLD!
You buy your box full of someone else’s promotional trash, take it home, unpack everything from the box, examine it for a second, pack it all back in the box, and wonder where your life went wrong. It’s an unhealthy amount of consumption and there’s no real value to it, even if you like such things.
Now, you may be wondering, “Tyler, why do you give a flying fuckfart what other people spend their money on?”
Good question, and I’m glad you asked it. Here’s why I care:
You’re being an idiot.
You complain all day about being bent over by publishers and railed hard by Day-1 DLC, season passes, microtransactions, pay-to-win, broken games, nerfs, on-disc DLC, pre-order exclusive DLC, and whatever other fetish of the day boning publishers like to get down with.
But, they dangle a collector’s edition in front of your face and, suddenly, everything’s right with the world? You act like they’ve just done you a solid. How is upcharging you 2-3 times the amount of the game good? How can we be offering them positive reinforcement for this exploitative pandering?
Don’t tell me it’s because of the “stuff”. That stuff is largely valueless. And don’t tell me it’s because you want something that few others have. That isn’t true, either. They’ll increase production on these if demand is high enough. We saw that with the Pip-Boy Edition of “Fallout 4”. There is nothing that will stop them from spending a few extra dollars to make thousands of dollars more.
We, as gamers, are left with a feeling of specialness. At least, that’s what publishers want us to think. In reality, when tens of thousands of other people have purchased the same product you have, that “specialness” isn’t so special. There’s nothing “Special” about these special editions. They’re not collectible, they just collect dust. The only thing they’re limited in is how much time you’ll spend caring about them after you’ve bought it.
We’re a compulsive bunch, I get it. We’ve been trained for generations to think that all of this stuff is going to go up in price. But, if you’re actually a collector, you’d know just how much of this shit is worthless. There’s only an increase in value if there is a demand… and the demand for these things ends on the release date. In 20 years, you’re not going to see a massive spike in value for a molded plastic Pip-Boy that isn’t compatible with any current technology. You’re not going to be able to sell your “Assassin’s Creed” statue to pay off your car. Nobody is going to care… not even you.
In 20 years, you’re not going to see a massive spike in value for a molded plastic Pip-Boy that isn’t compatible with any current technology. You’re not going to be able to sell your “Assassin’s Creed” statue to pay off your car.
You want to know the funniest part about all of this? I’m actually FOR games being more expensive. I want games to have a higher base price, because if they do, maybe we can get away from everything else the publishers want to charge us for à la carte, and start getting full games again. Or, at least, start getting all of the post-release content for free. The only reason we’re being nickel, dimed, and Franklin’d is because they’ve been charging the same damn price for these things since the 80’s. That’s not a sustainable business model.
Prices haven’t even gone up with inflation, let alone to account for the increased production costs. That is insane.
A $50 NES game in 1984 is worth $114 today. A $60 N64 game in 1996 is worth $90 today. If you average that out, we should be paying about $100 for our new games.
ONE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.
But, people would throw a fit. So, that’s why we have DLC, that’s why we have microtransactions, and that’s why we have these ludicrous collector’s editions that I’m tired of seeing announced and I’m sure game store employees are tired of trying to find the space in their tiny stores for when they’re left with copies nobody picked up.
I’ll go ahead and admit that I used to be swayed by the siren song of these products. I have “Lunar: Silver Star Story”, “Lunar: Eternal Blue”, “Arc the Lad Collection”, and “Growlanser Generations”. Working Designs OWNED the 90’s and early 00’s with their special boxes. I also bought the CE for “Street Fighter IV”… and then 3 other versions of the game later. I have the CE for “Catherine”, complete with a pizza box that everything comes in and a pair of boxer shorts.
People, I bought UNDERWEAR, because it came with a video game. Shitty underwear, too. What am I going to do with it, seriously?
We’re telling publishers we don’t want to spend money on their bullshit, and then we buy their bullshit! We’re wasting our money, while telling them it’s okay to keep these shenanigans up. Stop it. Just fucking stop it.
I’ve stopped. When the game store clerk asked me if I wanted to reserve the special edition of “Street Fighter V”, I said , “NO!” When the game store clerk asked me if I wanted to reserve the special edition of “Dark Souls 3”, I said, “NO!” When the game store clerk asked me if I wanted to reserve the special edition of “Bravely Second”, I said, “Yes!” Wait, that’s wrong, because I said, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Put an end to the madness. Save your money and buy more actual games. If you want cool statues or merchandise, find a company that’s making cool custom stuff and give them your money. Find an artist that does commissions and get an awesome custom work of art. Don’t buy the same corporate rubbish that everybody else is.
Your shelves will thank you.
I’ll agree to a few points here. Yes, most collectors editions are cheap as fuck and are pumped out, one after another after another. Ubisoft is mostly guilty here with how many Assassin’s Creed “Collectors” editions there are (Yes, guilty of buying 2. AC3 and AC4. Both the statue versions). I still buy the odd collector’s editions now, but merely when they are actually exclusive to my country (And, Australia, we seem to get the nice cheap editions that are worth more then the actual Collectors. Fallout 4’s Nuke Edition, I was much more pleased with then the actual collectors due to the actual quality of the lunchbox over the pip-boy). I’ll also agree on the game point. If they were not already $100 for a console game here. Even pre-owned, the cheapest I see for current gen is $47 and that’s on sale. For statue collectors editions, if you want the statue that bad, it comes out cheaper with the game itself. I’ll use Mortal Kombat X here. The Scorpion statue that come in the collectors (The proper hand painted one) cost $180 AUD with the game. The statue itself retails from what I saw, is a whopping $250 AUD, The Vinyl Scorpion however, I have not yet seen a stand alone one to purchase. Yes, collector’s editions can be an absolute rip off. However, there can be rare gems that you just can not pass up sometimes. But not every single game needs one. Street Fighter, Dark Souls, and DOOM definitely do not need one. They should be able to (And will) make a profit of just the game sales alone. As for DLC, as long as it adds more to the game, as in, a whole campaign and some new items to work with, I’m all for it. Season passes and microtransactions, I still do not agree with and wish they would just disappear. As for pre-order DLC, it’s basically getting an early edge. It’s an early access pass as most pre-order dlc gives you a boost in multiplayer now. It’s annoying and shouldn’t really be there, more so, when that same DLC will be there a month after release.
Wow, did not realize how much of a rant that was.
It’s OK, Zeroneox. You’re among friends. Let it all out.
I agree with everything you said, except for the huge price hike ($100?). Granted, I am not a console gamer, so the average price of new PC games going from $30-50 to $60-70 over the past 30yrs+ is not that big of hit, but it has reached the “can I really justify this purchase?” level, which is why now I pretty much stick to sales on Steam. Sure, if I want to pre-order or buy soon after release it’s going to cost me $60+, but that’s only going to happen if it’s something I’m really chomping at the bit to play. Since there aren’t any developers left that I trust by reputation alone (sorry BioWare & Firaxis, you lost that hard-earned status, and Black Isle Studios is long since dead), those are rare instances.
Though you didn’t specifically mention it, I’m assuming that you are aware that even if the price of games hasn’t gone up dramatically in the last three decades, the volume of sales has increased tremendously. The gaming industry is a multi-billion dollar market in the USA alone, so while I do think there is likely some purpose behind all of the micro-transaction/swag revenue besides increased production costs, my hunch is that it is primarily to take advantage of popular trends to sap more money out of consumers.
One thing is certain though, regardless of the facts, you are absolutely right that the best way to stop bad trends is to vote with your wallet. When people stop begging to throw their money at the gaming industry for the latest GTA, CoD, FF, or all of their respective clones, the message will eventually get through. It might take longer for the console industry, but for the PC crowd, direct distribution through Steam (or similar services) is the future of the industry.
Man…I don’t even buy physical copies of games anymore:| That said, I still have my MW NVG’s displayed proudly by my bed and from time to time I actually use them.
Easy there Buffalo Bill