The structure of the game is broken down into what is, essentially, something like a micro-platformer. You have lots of very short stages, but ones bursting with compact skateboarding joy. Simply getting to the finish line will unlock the next stage, but that’s not the end goal of the game.

Each stage also has five objectives to complete. Two of these objectives are static, being a high score challenge and a multiplier challenge. The other three vary wildly, offering up collectibles to find, special gaps, grinds, certain trick combinations, or even things like comboing entire levels or figuring out how to finish a stage without grinding or pushing.

These objectives offer a ton of variety to the game and ensure that you’re not always going to be playing the game the same way. Plus, once you complete all five, you’ll unlock the Pro Mode of that stage, which is completely different and offers up another set of five objectives. Oh, and it’s much harder.

Also, once you finish a stage, you’ll unlock that stage’s Spot, which is a condensed section of the stage where you’re tasked with getting as high a score as possible with one combo.

Then, if you really want to prove to yourself how bad you are at the game, you can try your hand at the Daily Grind, which is a fresh Spot that changes every 24 hours. The catch here is that while you can practice it all you want, you only get one shot to set a score on the leaderboard. ONE. Fail when it really counts and you will be immortalized with a score of naught. But, don’t worry, there will probably be thousands of others that share your pain. It’s nerve wracking.

OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood

The WAY you play this game is going to evolve as you get better. When you first start out, you’re going to be struggling with the controls and mostly playing the game like a platformer. You can have a ton of fun with the game and be suitably challenge by just treating it like one.

Once you start coming to grips with the skateboarding mechanics, you’ll start to figure out how to increase your score. This transforms the game from a platformer to an arcadey “Tony Hawk”. You’ll start to tackle all of the Amateur objectives and, while you may come across some rough patches, you’ll eventually succeed and you’ll feel confident and powerful.

So confident, that you’ll start going back to earlier stages and murdering your previous scores. So confident, that you’ll easily be able to combo entire levels in a strangely addictive melange of gracefulness, technique, and badassery. So confident, that you’ll be squeezing in spins whenever possible and doing as much trick variety as possible to boost your score even higher. So confident, that you’ll think you’re ready to challenge Pro Mode.

Do you really think you’re ready? Look at ‘em. They think they’re ready.

You’re not ready.

“OlliOlli2” is not Mr. Miyagi. It does not have you paint fences, houses, and sand floors to trick you into learning its techniques. There are no subtle muscle memory shortcuts to getting better at the game. You not only have to want it, but you have to dedicate yourself to wanting it. You have to be willing to destroy an analog stick to get good at this game. It’s so demanding and brutal that the rubber is coming off on mine. I mean, it’s like a black snow is falling from my fingertips.

And you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?! Pro Mode is hard. It is. It’s going to seem like an unachieveable dream for a little bit and it is. You may even find yourself, one day, beating all of the objectives. Your reward for doing so? Oh, to be so naive and to think you’re rewarded for such a ridiculous task.

There is no reward. There is only more pain. Because if you complete every Amateur and Pro objective, you unlock RAD Mode. Now, I only know the legends surrounding this game mode; but I can imagine it’s… soul destroying? Probably.

I’m not sure. See, I’m not good enough to get that far. However, I take solace in the fact that almost nobody is good enough to get that far. Looking at the leaderboards and trophy data, it’s not something that has been achieved by many people. I mean, just going by these statistics, I’m in the top 1% on the leaderboards and I’ve reached a point in the game, and trophies tell me this, that only .1% of players have reached.

OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood

By these measures, I am exceptional; but by the game’s measures, I’m… I’m…

I’m fucking worthless.